Rules People!! Follow the Rules

Rules.

Rules are important. Rules keep us safe. Rules allow for a society to know the boundaries within which it can exist. Rules (well most of them) are my friend.

Catholics like rules. It is in their blood. It’s taught from early childhood.

“Ok little Jimmy, when the priest says this…..you say this.”

“Ok little Jimmy it’s time for fasting. Here are the rules on that.”

“Ok little Jimmy it’s time for the sacrament. Here is how you partake.”

“Ok little Jimmy when this occurs you need to do the sign of the cross.”
(“But dad, how will I remember?” “Just remember: spectacles testicles wallet and watch”) For you Kristi.

I mean they have 10 pretty big rules that are hung in almost every Catholic school out there.

It is because of this that I get so angry with some of the mothers and fathers that drop off and pick up their kids at Kendall’s school. It’s like they are so overloaded with the rules of the church that they can’t keep up with the basic rules of how to release their children to the nuns and how to retrieve them.

Case in point:

I am not sure how, but I manage to wind up behind this one particular violator at least three times a week. I think he sits in the parking lot of the BP and pulls out in front of me as he sees me approach. Either that or he is pulling off some Jack Bauer like covert opps and he has a Chloe in his life to help him out.  Any who. This dude has no intention of following the rules. It’s like he doesn’t even care. 

The deal with car line is that it is a fluid process involving two way traffic and three separate lines of disbursal.  Now in order to accommodate all this traffic, the school relies on the Spice Nuns, Matlock and that big chick from the recent Hairspray movie. While this would not be my cast of characters, it is the ones that are responsible for this on a daily basis.

The first encounter is with aforementioned Hairspray movie girl. It’s like watching one of Kristi’s cats chase a laser pointer. There is a lot of movement, but no real sense of understanding.  She is at an intersection of egress and ingress. At her location there are pedestrians crossing the street, cars moving closer to the drop off line AND cars working to get OUT OF THE DROP OFF LINE.  It is a critical juncture and on most days she does a fine job. There are however days where traffic stands still. I cannot blame her for much of that because she is just a cog on the machine. Sometimes it is Matlock that is messing things up.

Matlock is an elderly gentleman and reminds me of my grandfather in the sense that he too took a job just to get out of the house. Matlock works the

only ingress gate of the whole operation. He has to allow traffic coming from both ways to enter and then be divided up to three separate lanes. It is an important area. HOWEVER, if he is off the whole system is off and sometimes he just dazes off and traffic backs up to the street. 

Then you get to the Spice Nuns. That’s right the Spice Nuns. There is Stern Spice Nun. She typically works the first crosswalk or the last crosswalk. Her hand motions tell you to stop, but you see the absolute seriousness of that command in her eyes! There is Sporty Spice Nun. More often than not, she is in a jump suit or some other fashionable form of active wear. She typically works the car doors and helps the children get their bags and get off to class. This is an important job and there are a number of back up nuns with Sporty Spice Nun. They are constantly moving.  Then you get to either Happy Spice Nun who is waiving you along the way and saying hello to everyone, (Seriously this is a VERY happy Nun.) or you get Flashy Spice Nun who is no doubt the art teacher based solely on her choice of attire.

So those are the players in my morning and who I rely on to keep the traffic moving and to reprimand the previously mentioned violator of the rules.

Every morning I get behind this man the same thing occurs. We make it passed Hairspray and Matlock with no problems, but the line being championed by Sporty Spice Nun and her back up Nuns is full. Typically we are stopped by Stern Spice Nun so the kiddos can walk across the first crosswalk. All good thus far, but I see danger coming. There is a lull in the flow and this is where my Religious Rule Breaker goes to work. The RULE is that you proceed past the first column and move to the front of the drop off line before you let your children out. Yes. Let your children leave the vehicle. Not get out and help them out, but rather let Sporty Spice Nun and her back up Nuns do their job. Not this cat. He pulls to the column and then proceeds to leave his massive vehicle, (which I have named the clown car due to the five kids that pile out and his Ole Miss sticker that is filled in with red and blue dots…..Really?) At this point he waits by the door while his wards collect their belongings and leisurely climb out of the vehicle. Did anyone tell these kids they were going to school? I would have thought the uniforms and school type of accoutrements would have alerted them to this, but no they act surprised they need to exit the clown car.  They stroll away having gotten a kiss on the cheek or a pat on the head and dad pulls back into the front seat. WHILE THIS IS OCCURING……Traffic has backed up behind me and is now stopping all flow of traffic for Matlock. This backs up Hairspray and the vehicles waiting to exit the area. AND Sporty Spice Nun and her Back up Nuns are looking at an empty unloading area. An area he should have pulled to the front of 3 minutes ago.

I love Kendall’s school and all the Nuns that run it, but I’m calling in the Penguin! That Nun knew what was what. She had the Blues Brothers in line and I think she could shame my Religious Rule Breaker into getting in line with things………However judging that he drives around with a big blue and red polka dotted Ole Miss sticker on his car, he probably doesn’t embarrass too easily.  

Till Next Time!!

Chris