Well another Beale Street Music Fest has come to a close and after taking a day to recuperate, I have time to put some thoughts together on the 2019 event.
First off…..This is a young man’s game. Every year it seems it takes a little longer for me to pop back up on a Monday. Typically I sleep in Monday and I am good to go by mid-afternoon. Not the case this year. This year I slept in on Monday till 9:30. Got up and left the park. Came home and showered till the hot water ran out. I then pulled up my email on my recliner and started cleaning out the 137 emails I had gotten since Thursday night. A lot of them were from bands that never came through. The email system at the park is horrible. Around 1:00 PM I noticed that I was just staring at the computer screen and had no idea what I was in the process of doing. I just needed to rest my eyes……From 1:15 to 3:00 Apparently. I woke up. Jumped out of bed and raced to get Kendall for her golf practice. She gets out of school at 3:00 so I was going to be cutting it a little tight. I flew the entire way. About half way there a friend calls to tell me that she saw Kendall sitting in pick up line and Kendall asked if she would call to remind me I was picking her up. Thank you Kathy, let her know I am on the way. 5 minutes later I get a call from an unknown 901 number. “Daddy…..Where are you?” Calm down little person. I am on the way. I show up to a disappointed face and a 15 minute trip to practice with a whole lot of 11 year old attitude. Golf is over and we go pick up the blonde child, meet out for dinner because there is nothing in our house to eat the month of May. Go home to put the girls to bed and watch TV. Kristi keeps yelling at me because I am not fast forwarding through the commercials. I realize I don’t even know what we are watching and call it a night. I then proceed to sleep for 10 hours. 3 day festivals…..A young man’s game.
I am also getting a little out of touch with today’s music. Dave Matthews Band? Got it! Loved him in college until a roommate of mine decided that we should play DMB all hours of the day at the highest volume on repeat for an entire year. That will take it out of you. I know a ton of their songs based only on the fact that is was burned into my soul on a daily basis. One Republic? Yeah. I’ve heard their stuff. Pretty nice if you ask me. Kendall likes them and that means it gets approval to be played in the vehicles when I drive. In This Moment - Shinedown? HELL YEAH. The only bands I really wanted to see (Didn’t of course because my committee actually works during shows) Echosmith? MY KIDS LOVE THEM! Kendall loves the songs and Kenzley is amazed by the perfect hair of the lead singer. A trip to that stage with the girls was inevitable. Flogging Molly? YUP! They host the takeover on Sirius XM during St. Patrick’s Day week and it drives the girls NUTS that we listen to Irish drinking songs for a week. Good Charlotte, Everclear, Saving Able. All good bands and I know their songs. BUT this is a 3 day event. Who the hell are the Killers? What does a G-Easy sing? What is a Rainbow Kitten Surprise? Trippie Redd? I thought that was the newest Sam Adams seasonal beer. Cardi B? Isn’t she that stripper? I set out on a mission to find out.
The Killers are Pre-Madonna jack holes who I don’t care in the least to ever run into again. There are three of these cats and they had us steppin and fetchin for 3 days straight across 39 separate vehicle requests. What the hell? “Oh the group HAS to ride in an SUV.” “Oh we feel crowded if there are more that 3 people in a van” “Oh we need to start two days in advance of our show, please” Screw these guys. Never went to their show.
G-Easy is a white dude. G-Easy is a white dude that “raps”. I went to watch G-Easy. I’ll never go back. He was sweating like a whore in church 2 songs into his performance. His performance was basically a recording of him and others singing and every once in a blue moon he would put the microphone to his mouth and sing along with the lyrics.
Rainbow Kitten Surprise is still a mystery to me. I never got to go check them out. To be honest with you I believe it’s an Asian Breakfast Cereal that you DO NOT want to try.
Trippie Redd is a rapper. A black rapper. I understood nothing he said and can offer no comments about the content of his music. However he falls into my Lil’ Jon philosophy just nicely. If you have no talent, you have no ability to craft lyrical poetry and you want to be rich……Get face tattoos and look like a complete idiot. That is how you get rap money these days. This cat looked like a tattoo parlors scratch pad. Seriously. Is this what rap has devolved into? I mean where are the KRS1 types? The Public Enemy types? The Missy Elliots? The Tupacs? The Biggies? I mean they had a message. They had some poetry in their words. These guys today? Not so much. Just wanna be gangsters talking about all the ass they get and the money they have. He mumbles through a few “songs” and I walked away with a headache. ½ because of the music ½ because of the skunk weed these kids are smoking these days.
Cardi-B.
What to say about Cardi-B? I am not a fan. I knew of her stripper past and thought….Well to each their own right? I read some of her thoughts on our President and thought….Well everyone is entitled to their opinion. BUT having sat through her 45 minute set….She is just not a good person. I have long had a problem with modern rap and the crap it heaps on the female gender. (How women listen to it is beyond me) After listening to her songs, I have to say the same thing about her. It’s just not good advice. I thought of my girls and what I would say to them if they thought this way. I thought the “female empowerment” message she was trying to get across, but it falls on deaf ears. It's basically a tribute to her money, her sex and her self importance.
I researched it a little bit and I get that she is in a "Top Bitch" fight with Nicki Minaj, another horrible person for kids to look up to, but DAMN. Give it a rest already. Every one of her songs started off with “This is for my nasty hoes” or “This is for my bitches trying to get that money” or “This is for fucking n*#$ers trying to fuck with a bitch like me” followed by pretty not so good music and flow. I mean the beat is good, some of her songs are catchy, but I don’t want my kids listening to that crap. And her performance was shit!! DMB for example had a start to finish show. It transitioned from one to another pretty seamlessly. This chick just sang one song and then another. It went 1)This song is for……something repulsive. 2) Fast lyrics I can’t understand. 3)Here is my ass. Watch while I twerk and grind on the floor. 3) Rap airhorn and glass breaking. (Seriously I thought Stone Cold Steve Austin was coming out at one point. That would be AWESOME!!! Stunner on the Cardi-B!!!!) She showed up. She started late. She went through the motions. She walked off stage. She got into an SUV and was off the park before the crowd realized she was NOT coming back for any sort of an encore. Just not the way to end Music Fest.
I love this event and I love volunteering for the event, but I sure hope next year’s line up has more people I know and less Thug Rap wannabes. Although I am not holding my breath.
ADDENDUM:
Dear Baby Jesus! Leave out a few items and the world becomes unhinged. Here. Calm Down!!!
The THUGLIFE STAGE - Sunday May 5th
Oh where to start on the stage that truly represents the Memphis music scene? The line up for the day consisted of Fast Cash Boys - NLE Choppa - Madison Beer - Moneybagg Yo - 6Lack - Cardi B. ($20 if you know who any of these people outside of the aforementioned stripper turned stripper with a microphone.....)
This is on the south stage. The south stage entrance is 20 feet from my transportation tent/volunteer shade spot. The entire stage has to come past us to get into the backstage. In the number of years I have been doing this, we have ever had major problems with one genre of music. (Hint....It's not the 80's one hit wonder genre or country) This day would prove to be the highlight of stupidity on display.
We start with Fast Cash Boys......Who I referred to as 877-Cash-Now. Because I couldn't remember their name. Apparently they have a following in Memphis and I can see why. Their biggest hit repeats the same 9 words over and over for 41 seconds while they flash their stacks of Benjamins for the crowd.....Any Who.
These people have employed the help of local douche bag who I will name Black Outfit as I never got his name. Black Outfit is working with a MIM guy for this stage and he brings in a car load of thuglets in training all of whom are Snapchatting the entire process. Now. Apparently some of the kids missed the short thug bus and needed us to go get them, so we went on golf carts and brought more mensa candidates to the stage. Mistake #1. None had credentials and Black Outfit never told us that. So in rolls security to escort them out of back stage after their set is over. Once they were told they had to leave they dispersed like cockroaches when you turn on the light. Security tried to wrangle them all up and get them out of the park, but it was futile. They were everywhere and would pop up like ticks throughout the day. We were dealing with this the entire time NLE Choppa was on stage and I never got to see him which kinda ticked me off as I missed "Shotta Flow". You can't miss "Shotta Flow" it's poetry.....I'm sticked up, like a blind man. I'm super hot, like a frying pan. He said that he gon' take some from me. Ayy, just know, he lyin' man. I'ma up from my hip then blow like a whistle. Your bitch suckin' dick like a Kool-Aid pickle....I mean suck it Edger Allen!!!
Madison Beer comes and goes without any incident short of all the luxuries he asked for in terms of pickups from my people. Dude....You're one song above really just needing to take an Uber to the show. Get in this van and shut up. But during that time the Black Outfit begins to show out. He brings in Moneybagg Yo's mom. (Never saw dad) After getting her backstage with her credentials (he learned from the 877-Cash-Now incident) he walks back out with a bunch of "new" credentials to go get some other people. At this point he begins to get a little irked by my volunteers who won't give him a ride. His reply.... "I hope none of you wake up tomorrow...." Nice Dude. Real Nice.
This becomes a thorn in his side as his hustle is exposed and his people are starting to revolt. Moneybagg Yo's manager gets in his face and apparently he decides to take that out on yours truly. While eating an apple he decides to confront me about why he can't get rides up and down the hill all day like he's at the frickin' fair and has unlimited golf cart ride tickets. "Listen man. I have been instructed by Memphis in May to NOT give a ride to ANYONE that is NOT A MUSICIAN." (For this stage the term musician is a dramatic stretch) This is not what he wants to hear. "Man. I'm his Tour Manager" Not a musician. "Man I gotta get these people down here" Not musicians. "Man you're employees suck!!!" We're not employees. We are Volunteers. "Well you can take the V out of that mother fucker" As he spits apple. I walk off to go get security again.......Thinking what the hell does that mean.
Maneybagg Yo is here with an entourage. Black Outfit figures he can just pack them into cars like clowns and bring them in. NOPE. We stop them at the gate to ask for credentials for the people. The parking pass is just for the car. This is the straw that broke the Yo's back. At this point we get word from the festival entrance that there are 7 vehicles staged up top and they are moving. Nobody is going to stop them. They come through the crowd and roll past the volunteers who stay the hell out of the way as well as security who is basically a toothless old lioness. We need a police presence at top of the hill and backstage. I make that call. 6 more cars blow past the gate and 6 more cars come down to our compound. We have at this point barricaded the backstage area and they cannot bring the vehicles in soooooo they abandon them and get out on foot. Past me. Past the toothless lioness and roll 40 deep onto the stage. 2 or 3 songs into the set the wonderful MPD shows up in force (4 dudes) easy to see what is going on. We point to the stage. We point to the cars. We point to the mass of people milling around. "We're going to need more guys." says one of the officers.
"You needed more guys here when JG Wentworth booked the first band ya moron"
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing sir....."
Hell even 6Lack's manager asked us what the hell we were thinking on this stage. He started pointing out the bands and said. "I would have never had these three on the same stage" Thank you Mr. Black or 6 Black or Six Lack or whatever the hell your name is.
ADDENDUM:
Dear Baby Jesus! Leave out a few items and the world becomes unhinged. Here. Calm Down!!!
The THUGLIFE STAGE - Sunday May 5th
Oh where to start on the stage that truly represents the Memphis music scene? The line up for the day consisted of Fast Cash Boys - NLE Choppa - Madison Beer - Moneybagg Yo - 6Lack - Cardi B. ($20 if you know who any of these people outside of the aforementioned stripper turned stripper with a microphone.....)
This is on the south stage. The south stage entrance is 20 feet from my transportation tent/volunteer shade spot. The entire stage has to come past us to get into the backstage. In the number of years I have been doing this, we have ever had major problems with one genre of music. (Hint....It's not the 80's one hit wonder genre or country) This day would prove to be the highlight of stupidity on display.
We start with Fast Cash Boys......Who I referred to as 877-Cash-Now. Because I couldn't remember their name. Apparently they have a following in Memphis and I can see why. Their biggest hit repeats the same 9 words over and over for 41 seconds while they flash their stacks of Benjamins for the crowd.....Any Who.
These people have employed the help of local douche bag who I will name Black Outfit as I never got his name. Black Outfit is working with a MIM guy for this stage and he brings in a car load of thuglets in training all of whom are Snapchatting the entire process. Now. Apparently some of the kids missed the short thug bus and needed us to go get them, so we went on golf carts and brought more mensa candidates to the stage. Mistake #1. None had credentials and Black Outfit never told us that. So in rolls security to escort them out of back stage after their set is over. Once they were told they had to leave they dispersed like cockroaches when you turn on the light. Security tried to wrangle them all up and get them out of the park, but it was futile. They were everywhere and would pop up like ticks throughout the day. We were dealing with this the entire time NLE Choppa was on stage and I never got to see him which kinda ticked me off as I missed "Shotta Flow". You can't miss "Shotta Flow" it's poetry.....I'm sticked up, like a blind man. I'm super hot, like a frying pan. He said that he gon' take some from me. Ayy, just know, he lyin' man. I'ma up from my hip then blow like a whistle. Your bitch suckin' dick like a Kool-Aid pickle....I mean suck it Edger Allen!!!
This becomes a thorn in his side as his hustle is exposed and his people are starting to revolt. Moneybagg Yo's manager gets in his face and apparently he decides to take that out on yours truly. While eating an apple he decides to confront me about why he can't get rides up and down the hill all day like he's at the frickin' fair and has unlimited golf cart ride tickets. "Listen man. I have been instructed by Memphis in May to NOT give a ride to ANYONE that is NOT A MUSICIAN." (For this stage the term musician is a dramatic stretch) This is not what he wants to hear. "Man. I'm his Tour Manager" Not a musician. "Man I gotta get these people down here" Not musicians. "Man you're employees suck!!!" We're not employees. We are Volunteers. "Well you can take the V out of that mother fucker" As he spits apple. I walk off to go get security again.......Thinking what the hell does that mean.
Maneybagg Yo is here with an entourage. Black Outfit figures he can just pack them into cars like clowns and bring them in. NOPE. We stop them at the gate to ask for credentials for the people. The parking pass is just for the car. This is the straw that broke the Yo's back. At this point we get word from the festival entrance that there are 7 vehicles staged up top and they are moving. Nobody is going to stop them. They come through the crowd and roll past the volunteers who stay the hell out of the way as well as security who is basically a toothless old lioness. We need a police presence at top of the hill and backstage. I make that call. 6 more cars blow past the gate and 6 more cars come down to our compound. We have at this point barricaded the backstage area and they cannot bring the vehicles in soooooo they abandon them and get out on foot. Past me. Past the toothless lioness and roll 40 deep onto the stage. 2 or 3 songs into the set the wonderful MPD shows up in force (4 dudes) easy to see what is going on. We point to the stage. We point to the cars. We point to the mass of people milling around. "We're going to need more guys." says one of the officers.
"You needed more guys here when JG Wentworth booked the first band ya moron"
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing sir....."
Hell even 6Lack's manager asked us what the hell we were thinking on this stage. He started pointing out the bands and said. "I would have never had these three on the same stage" Thank you Mr. Black or 6 Black or Six Lack or whatever the hell your name is.
