Well apparently I did a good enough job for the nuns to ask me back to Kendall’s school for another round of lunchroom duty. (I am on the schedule next month for every Wednesday…Hmmmm)
Today was a little easier than last time, because I knew
what to expect.
Passed security
with no problem.
Found the room with no problem.
Nodded to Captain
Lunchroom Awesomepants with no problem.
Even brought my own gloves this time. Large! From the BBQ
stash.
Today I stood in the room waiting patiently for Kendall
and the others to arrive. This time I was nervous for a whole other reason. Today
was picture day. Kendall had her school pictures done first thing this morning
and I wanted to see if the prep work Kristi and I did on her this morning had
held up.
Cut to 6:00 this VERY am.
My alarm went off at the same time Kristi’s went off. I
shot up out of the bed like it was on fire. It was picture day and it WAS ON! I
have moved quickly in the morning probably a total of 5 times in my life.
1&2) Both mornings when
Kristi said. “It’s time”
3) My wedding day
4)The day I left for college
5)When the Tombstone collectors
DVD came out.
Today was important. Kristi cannot
have a bad picture and I knew it. It was do or die time with Kendall’s hair. We
had hoped that she would have hair like her aunt Donna. She doesn’t. It’s thin
and a little stringy, but I have been told that it will catch up in awhile.
This morning we had to work on it. Kristi hit her with the straightener, I hit
her with the anti-frizz goop. Kristi affixed her headband and I took her to the
‘80s with a good dose of AquaNet. She looked quite impressive.
There were only two options for
this picture. She could ace them like my mom did in all her years of teaching. I
swear her school picture and her signature never changed the entire time she
taught school. I’m pretty certain the DMV got the idea of just carrying over
your old picture from mom. Just change the date and be done with it. Or…….She
could be like me. I had a penchant for looking like I just sucked a lemon in my
pictures. If it wasn’t that it was my eyes being closed. If you didn’t know
better you would think I was stoned in 2nd grade through 10th
grade.
As she rounded the corner of the
Multi-Purpose Room, I felt my heart drop. The headband was gone. The AquaNet
had lost it’s 80s magic. She looked like she had just done wind testing for a new
Chuck Yeager airplane. BUT, she lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw me
and waved, even though I know she is not supposed to. I asked her what happened and she said the
headband hurt her ears. I told her it
was ok. She said her hair felt crunchy and I told her it was ok. One of the
nuns told me she did fine. Her hair didn’t come apart till after and she is
sure that her pictures turned out fine. (She better not be lying to me. That’s
another one of the “Thou shalt nots”)
Lunch started this time a lot
better off than last time. I, apparently, am what you might call a little
famous with the little ones. I got a few “Hi Mr. Chris”s and one or two “I
remember you”s (Next week I am wearing my “I’m kinda a big deal” shirt…because
well to these little kids….I am)
Any who.
A number of them remembered me from
last time and immediately asked me to help them with their lunch. Same old
routine this time as well.
Yogurt opened.
Peaches drained.
Lunchables opened.
Soup bowls unscrewed.
I worked my magic and proceeded to
sit with Kendall and talk to her about her day. I didn’t get far. Teddie
(apparently I can’t use real names) decided he was ready for dessert. No way.
You’ve only been here 10 minutes and you couldn’t have……..Dear Lord he’s
finished. This kid had wiped out his
school lunch in under 10 minutes. Now granted it wasn’t that hearty. Today was
2 pancakes, 1 sausage patty and homemade fries. (Breakfast for lunch???) Teddie
had knocked it out. He even slurped up the syrup the nuns came around and put
on his pancakes. (Some of the kids just
ate that…..nothing else. Good luck with that Sister What a Horrible Idea) I
asked when he could have his dessert and was told they like to wait till 5
minutes left in lunch. I would have to hold him off for 15 minutes. One of the
nuns said he was always starving by the time lunch got around. He just eats a
lot. Growing boy and what not…… OK
I walked around to check on my
other wards. Some of them were doing just fine. Most were making a horrible
mess. I stopped one girl from eating her cookie off the ground. I helped
another dig her bow out of her hair. If she had gone after it the PBJ sandwich
she just molded into a flower might have made her blonde locks a little
sticky. I checked on them all and came
to two conclusions.
1 ----->My little girl eats so
much better than most of these kids.
I always knew that MJ had done us a
great service by getting Kendall hooked on veggies and fruits. We shy away from
the crap lunches and to the most part Kendall enjoys what we send to school.
Some of these kids make me want to call their parents. One had half a ham
sandwich, cheetos, cheese its, animal crackers and fun stripes cookies. The ham sandwich went untouched even at my
prodding . It was that sandwich that brought me to …….
2 -------> There is a black
market for food that Teddie doesn’t know about. There is a ton of food that
goes untouched in that room. I may take a little bucket with his picture on it
and just pass it around to the kids next week. Can Teddie get a little ham? Don’t
want those carrots? Teddie loves carrots. Not a real fan of the grapes? Teddie
goes APES for GRAPES!
The clincher of the day was
dessert. Today for all those that ate the school breakfast/syrup soup for lunch……Pudding
with cool whip and sprinkles. (Just what
they need) I passed out the desserts to all the kids that got one and fended
off a few that were put out by not receiving one. The majority just dove in and
was content. The girls at the far table were not. All four of them wanted me to pick out the
sprinkles.
“Why”
“We don’t like sprinkles”
“What the Mother Mary are you
talking about?”
“We don’t like sprinkles.”
Who doesn’t like sprinkles? Those
are awesome. That’s like not liking Christmas. That’s like not liking Turkey
and Stuffing. That’s like not liking the smell of bacon. That’s like not liking….well
I’ll say it. That’s like not liking THE USA! Everything is better with
sprinkles. It just works. The only “Sprinkles” I don’t like is a clown. That
dude freak me out.
But I was at the mercy of the
little ones, so I went around scooping up all the cool whip and sprinkles into
a big old cup and throwing it away.
I turned just in time to see Teddie………His
mouth agape with a tear rolling down the side of his face.
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